Thursday, May 18, 2006

He's Just Not That In To You (Dia Tidak Begitu Tertarik Padamu)




Dari banyak artikel yang aku baca, kesimpulannya: pria yang tidak melakukan usaha untuk mendapatkan seorang wanita berarti dia tidak menyukai wanita itu. Di Oprah Show pernah dibahas sebuah buku yg judulnya He’s Just Not That In To You, inti buku itu adalah, kalau anda ragu terhadap seorang pria, apakah dia menyukai anda atau tidak, jangan menghabiskan waktu lagi untuk memikirkan dia, karena dia pasti tidak begitu tertarik pada anda, he’s not that in to you!!. Kalau dia menyukai anda, dia akan melakukan usaha untuk mendapatkan anda, menelepon, menemui, memberikan bunga atau apapun.



Menurut Oprah, buku ini akan merubah pemikiran banyak wanita dan melepaskan mereka dari penderitaannya karena menanti pria yang tidak pasti. Oprah juga mewawancarai penulis buku itu, Greg Behrendt dan beberapa pria yang membenarkan pernyataan buku itu. Para pria ini berkata, laki-laki akan mengejar anda kalau ia menyukai anda, tapi jika tidak begitu adanya...forget it.


Kata orang bijak :p


- Every woman should know when to try harder and when to walk away


- Every woman should know what she would do and wouldn't do for love



Aku copy paste nih browsinganku soal buku ini. Semoga memberikan masukan baru… buat cewek-cewek. Kalo masih pengen lihat lebih jauh soal buku ini, googling aja  :-)

He's just not that into you'


By: Jenna Katz






It's like a slap in the face at first. But then after an undefined period of time, depending on the reader, one enters a state of spiritual enlightenment. I am not referring to the feeling that one possesses after "finding God," or after he or she realizes that the Earth actually spins on its axis after a series of mind-alternating substances - this is better. Say the words out loud yourself - he's just not that into you.
"He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys," written by Liz Tuccillo and Greg Behrendt, a writer and a consultant for "Sex and the City" respectively, explores the importance of this very phrase. The book focuses on 11 main chapters, which dictate clues for the female reader to use in order to tell if a guy is not interested in her - He's just not that into you if - "He's Not Asking You Out," "He's Not Calling You," "He's Not Dating You," "He's Not Having Sex with You," "He's Having Sex with Someone Else," "He Only Wants to See You When He's Drunk," "He Doesn't Want to Marry You," "He's Breaking Up with You," "He's Disappeared on You," "He's Married (and Other Insane Variations of Being Unavailable)" and "if He's a Selfish Jerk, a Bully, or a Really Big Freak."
For the college-aged reader, some of the chapters, such as those pertaining to marriage are irrelevant - however, the other seemingly obvious themes, which reign throughout most of the book, are useful and relevant to the average college student.
The book is predominately written by Behrendt, who uses his stereotypically male and honest point of view to tell women what men are looking for and how to tell if they are not looking for them. Each chapter revolves around fake letters written to Behrendt by women who make excuses for the man's lack of interest in them. Behrendt then responds with his own analysis of the female's position and advises her to move on. Most of these letters end with the title phrase - he's just not that into you.
Tuccillo ends each chapter with her own questions and analysis of Behrendt's opinions, representing their female readership. The reader is able to sympathize with Tuccillo because she feels exactly the way that she does. While most chapters end by telling the reader that their potential special someone is not interested in them, Behrendt and Tuccillo emphasize the point that the reader is deserving of someone special and her time will come soon enough.


 



He's Just Not That Into You



From Jeff Cohen,
 
For years, women have made excuses for their men hoping to justify or rationalize their bad relationships. In a new book by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo, women worldwide are served a wake up call with six simple words- He’s Just Not That Into You!

Already featured on Oprah and 20/20, “He’s Just Not That Into You” is flying off bookshelves and landing in online shopping carts everywhere. I recently had the opportunity to talk with both Greg and Liz to better understand the phenomenon that is reshaping the dating landscape.

According to Liz, “if you’re spending a lot of time making excuses for your man or thinking about your man, or obsessing, it’s very likely that he’s just not that into you.” Co-author Greg concurs, adding “the book is about being honest with yourself and setting your standards higher.


You wouldn’t accept sub-standard performance in your business or at work, why run your love life that way?”

The Idea is Born

The idea for “He’s Just Not That Into You” stems from an episode of “Sex in the City.” Miranda, a character in the show, is describing her date with her girlfriends, specifically how the date ended with two kisses outside Miranda’s door, yet no invitation inside. Her date justified the lack of invitation, claiming an early appointment the next day. While all of Miranda’s girlfriends accept the excuse as reasonable, the sole male at the table provides a dose of reality, indicating “He’s just not that into you.”

Surprisingly, Miranda is upbeat after this revelation, saying “It's the most liberating thing I have ever heard. Think of all the time and therapy I could have saved over the last 20 years if I had known this."

According to Greg, a consultant to the show, the “he’s just not that into you” concept remained a hot topic among the staff of “Sex and the City.” In fact, Greg had given this very advice to “Sex and the City” story editor Liz Tuccillo after she cited numerous excuses for a bad relationship. Finding the advice as liberating as Miranda, Liz decided to team with Greg to put the ideas into a book.

While Greg and Liz are thrilled the advice and dating questions answered in the book have helped millions of women end bad relationships or stop pining over uninterested men, they want to make clear that they’re not doctors or therapists. “I’m a comedian and Liz is a comedy writer, this is just our opinion,” reminds Greg.





He's Just Not That Into You





By Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo

He says:
Oh sure, they say they're busy. They say that they didn't have even a moment in their insanely busy day to pick up the phone. It was just that crazy. All lies. With the advent of cell phones and speed dialing, it is almost impossible not to call you. Sometimes I call people from my pants pocket when I don't even mean to. If I were into you, you would be the bright spot in my horribly busy day. Which would be a day that I would never be too busy to call you.

She says:
There is something great about knowing that my only job is to be as happy as I can be about my life, and feel as good as I can about myself, and to lead as full and eventful a life as I can, so that it doesn't ever feel like I'm just waiting around for some guy to ask me out. And most importantly, it's good for us all to remember that we don't need to scheme and plot, or beg anyone to ask us out. We're fantastic.

For ages, women have come together over coffee, cocktails or late-night phone chats to analyze the puzzling behavior of men.

He's afraid to get hurt again.
Maybe he doesn't want to ruin the friendship.
Maybe he's intimidated by me.
He just got out of a relationship.


Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo are here to say that—despite good intentions—you're wasting your time. Men are not complicated, although they'd like you to think they are. And there are no mixed messages.

The truth may be He's just not that into you.

Unfortunately, guys are too terrified to ever directly tell a woman, "You're not the one." But their actions absolutely show how they feel.

He's Just Not That Into You—based on a popular episode of Sex and the City—educates otherwise smart women on how to tell when a guy just doesn't like them enough, so they can stop wasting time making excuses for a dead-end relationship.

Reexamining familiar scenarios and classic mindsets that keep us in unsatisfying relationships, Behrendt and Tuccillo's wise and wry understanding of the sexes spares women hours of waiting by the phone, obsessing over the details with sympathetic girlfriends, and hoping his mixed messages really mean "I'm in love with you and want to be with you."

He's Just Not That Into You is provocative, hilarious and, above all, intoxicatingly liberating. It deserves a place on every woman's night table. It knows you're a beautiful, smart, funny woman who deserves better. The next time you feel the need to start "figuring him out," consider the glorious thought that maybe he's just not that into you. And then set yourself loose to go find the one who is.

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